Christmas is meant to be a joyous occasion, with family gatherings, plenty of delicious food, and lots of festivities to enjoy. However, many people really struggle with the season, and find their mental health plummets while everyone else seems to be having a great time.
There are many reasons why Christmas isn’t a positive experience for everyone, so it is important to be aware that one of these might be impacting someone you care about. And if you think they are finding the season difficult, you can help support them through this challenging period.
Why do some people struggle with Christmas?
For many people, Christmas might conjure up bad memories, while others may just hate all the fuss and stress that comes with it. Here are just a few reasons why Christmas might affect the mental health of someone you know.
- Experienced a loss at Christmas
Anyone who has had something bad happen to them at Christmas will create negative associations with the season, particularly if they have experienced a loss at what is meant to be the happiest time of the year.
Not only will they be reliving their memory of this difficult period of their lives, but their sadness will feel amplified by the joyful songs, adverts of happy families, and the absence of their loved one on December 25th.
- Loneliness
The image of being with friends and family on Christmas Day is plastered everywhere throughout the season, making those who don’t have anyone to spend it with feel extremely lonely.
It is easy to think everyone is having a great time with their loved ones, particularly when checking social media, which can exacerbate the loneliness for those on their own.
- Difficult relationships
Often those who spend Christmas with their family also have a difficult time if they have challenging relationships.
Arguments between family members frequently erupt over the turkey, as this might be the only time of the year that relatives who don’t get along are together.
Alternatively, those in abusive relationships might find their abuse worsens over the holidays, as their partners may drink more or struggle being around the family every day.
- Stress and anxiety
For some, the weeks leading up to Christmas are the hardest, as there is so much stress about making sure all the festivities are perfect, constantly comparing themselves to others.
The season can be extremely overwhelming for many, particularly for those who already have mental health difficulties, and they might retreat into themselves if they cannot manage the extra stress.
- Post-Christmas
It isn’t just Christmas Day or the preceding festivities that can rock someone’s mental health but the days after too. Many people suffer from the post-Christmas blues, feeling depressed because it wasn’t as good as they had expected or they now have nothing to look forward to.
With New Year arriving straight after Christmas, lots also struggle with reflecting on the past 12 months or trying to be hopeful for the following year, which can make their mood dip.
What are the signs your loved one is finding Christmas hard?
Although you might now understand why some people find the Yuletide season challenging, it is important to look out for signs so you know when you need to step in and show extra support.
- Change in behaviour
If you notice their behaviour or temperament changes during December, this could suggest they are suffering from poor mental health.
For instance, they might not joke around as much as before; they may seem more self-conscious or shy; or they may stop taking pride in their appearance like wearing make-up or brushing their hair.
Struggling to get out of bed, complaining of brain fog, being unable to make decisions, displaying angry outbursts, or withdrawing from people in WhatsApp groups, gatherings or text messages are also signs of depression or anxiety.
- Turning down social events
If your friend or relative is normally the soul of the party, it will be a bit of a shock if they show no enthusiasm about this year’s Christmas do. Even more so, if they choose not to attend, bail out at the last minute or isolate themselves at the event, these could be big red flags.
- Drinking excessively
Most people enjoy a drink or two at Christmas, whether it’s at the office party, on December 25th, in the pub on Boxing Day or to celebrate New Year’s Eve.
However, if you think their drinking is spiralling out of control, even over the festive season, they could be using it as a way to medicate their feelings. Alcohol can make them forget their reality for a few hours until it wears off and they start all over again.
If you notice your friend is either drinking or hungover, this could be a sign they need help.
- Weight change
It is definitely hard to pick up on changes to someone’s weight over the festive season, as most people indulge too much with the abundance of mince pies, party food, and cheese available.
However, changes in appetite or weight can indicate poor mental health, so if you notice that your friend or relative is putting on the pounds faster than usual and is freely tucking into the Christmas treats, this could be something to keep an eye on.
Conversely, many people lose their appetite or use food as a control when they are depressed, in which case you might notice them losing weight or turning down treats more than they normally would.
- Losing their libido
If the person you are worried about is your partner, one of the signs you should look out for is whether they are still interested in sex.
Loss of libido is a strong sign of depression, so if they are making excuses in the bedroom, there could be more going on.
At the same time, you might notice they are sleeping more than usual and do not want to get out of bed in the morning.
Alternatively, their sleep might be affected by their negative feelings, and they may start to suffer from insomnia. This could make them too tired to have sex, as well as face the rest of the day.
What can you do to help a loved one who is depressed at Christmas?
It is hard to help someone who is depressed or anxious at any time of the year, let alone Christmas. However, reaching out to them and letting them know you can see they are struggling is a good start.
Be patient with them, avoid criticising their actions, and put Christmas plans on hold if they are making them feel uncomfortable. It is important to stay in regular contact and keep inviting them to join you, even if they turn you down.
If they are ready to accept help, you could encourage them to go to a counselling room to speak to a therapist. Until then, just being there for them so they know they are not alone during this difficult period.
