A person in a therapy room is typically not only looking for relief for the particular concerns, worries and issues in their life, but that is rarely the end goal of therapy itself.
There are few aspects of life and our behaviour that are inherently that simple, and one of the most complex aspects of many of our lives to understand also manifests in the simplest and most basic ways.
Most people tend to procrastinate, putting off tasks they need to do until just before or sometimes even after they need to be done, and whilst there are many causes both innocuous and serious for this, one of the widest-encompassing issues is the concept of psychological avoidance.
Psychological avoidance is a set of behaviours and reactions that go beyond procrastination and is the tendency to avoid situations, events and tasks that cause anxiety and discomfort.
It can be either an acute response to an extremely stressful situation or a chronic reaction to either a specific type or types of discomfort or all uncomfortable situations.
In some cases, it can feel necessary. Some stressful encounters genuinely do not need to be engaged with so avoidance can work in the sense that they prevent unnecessary confrontations sometimes.
Avoidance can, in some ways, be traced to fight, flight or freeze reactions, a physical and mental response to perceived threats and extreme stress. After such an acute stress response, people are understandably wary of situations that could lead to the same response.
The issue with psychological avoidance and the long-term harm it can cause to a person’s professional and personal life is that avoidance intensifies each time a similar situation comes about.
This means that the level of stress magnifies, as does the feeling of relief when that stress is avoided, further cementing the notion that avoiding issues is the best way to manage them.
The problem is that in the vast majority of cases, these kinds of events, tasks and situations cannot actually be avoided, and in fact trying to avoid them can only make them worse.
Instead, the solution is the opposite of avoidance, which is approaching. Instead of trying to escape the situation, addressing the problem directly can be the best way to avoid stress, either by directly managing the root cause, reframing a stressful situation or engaging in discussion about it.
For a professional example, if someone is dealing with a stressful deadline, piece of work or upcoming meeting, it can be tempting to avoid it, minimally engage or feign an illness to get out of it, but there are three better solutions that may be more immediately stressful but will provide long-term relief.
Sorting out the work, if it is possible to do so, is the optimal solution, but looking at the problem as an opportunity to demonstrate skills far beyond one’s station or having a frank discussion with a manager about your concerns are also very effective ways to solve the problem.
It can also demonstrate resilience, adaptability and honesty, all virtues that help in a wide variety of social, professional and personal situations.
